1hr 55 - unofficial Marathon J

Preparation started Friday night dinner with Marathon T &B, it proved to be vital, until that night my race preparation extended to admiring my running number, ignoring the accompanying literature, well do blokes ever read instructions? Point made, and wondering why they had supplied a baggage tag?, My plan was the set the alarm to give me 35 minutes to get to the start line, hit snooze for 5 minutes, get dressed, drive to the start, then run, simple. Apparently not, My veteran racers talked about getting up hours before the race to eat porridge with Manuka honey, I was to learn the following day, when I came to buy it, that Manuka is New Zealand for expensive. During the meal I also learnt about the need for sweat bands, hydration and carb loading, to be honest the only bit I understood was carb loading as that translated to filling my face with pasta, that, I knew I was good at. Also apparently running with an ipod is frowned upon, tough I thought they can pull any face they like I’m running with my tunes. Finally I learnt that when you cross the finish line it’s not cool to do it with your arms in the air, shame, apparently one is to nonchalantly press ones running computer or stop watch. Not having a running computer or stop watch I decided to buy some sweat bands and resolved to push them instead, I sure nobody will look that closely.

So the big day came, I set the alarm of 06.30, made porridge and spooned on the Manuka honey, it tasted really bad, so I loaded it with the best “Golden Syrup”. I took the vitamins I had been taking the past week and went back to bed. I got up an hour before the race to take my pain killers, get dressed and drive to the start line, I received a text from marathon T he had a supply of gel for me, I assumed it was the running equivalent of deep heat . Marathon T and B were already there when I arrived and looking resplendent, The place was full or people that looked like whippets. Marathon T then gave 4 packets of carb gel, not for my legs but to eat! One now, then the rest at 4, 6, and 9 miles!

Time to race, Marathon T went to the front, Marathon B and I went to the back, it took us 30 seconds to cross the start line and we were away. An interesting first few miles ensued as I picked my way through the crowd and the crowd picked it’s way through me. I settle into my running pace, which is, slow on the flat, slower up hill, and slightly faster than slow down hill. My music helping with a thumping beat, my right knee hurt down the inside left, nothing new there, it was more of a pulling sensation than sharp pain so I figured it was ok. 4 miles past and I forgot to eat gel, at six miles I started to feel tired and remembered the gel, wow that worked, wonder food, within minutes I felt the burst of energy. My split time came up next 58mins 49 secs. Amazing that’s on target for 2 hours, which was at least 5 minutes faster than I was expecting and more to the point I was feeling good, but I had run this far before so I was still not sure about the second half.

Marathon J at 1 mile

Marathon B - The housewives favorite

Marathon J at 5 miles

The 7 mile point quickly arrived as did a pain in my foot, I knew exactly what that was, a blister and a big one, oh well. At mile 8 I felt good and improved the pace slightly and decided to try to pick off a few runners in the distance, I’d need more gel for that, It worked. At mile 11 I took my last energy gel and continued to overtake people slowly one by one. I felt ok apart from the blister.

Mile 12, wow I was there and frankly felt great, time to light up the afterburners open all the taps and overtake everybody I could see! Clearly I was now out of my mind, but that’s exactly what I did. I was also surprised at the result, I did speed up, two ladies were past in seconds, then a guy, then there was some ground to make up to catch another guy, he was soon toast too, another lady ahead, then bang the afterburner ran out, bugger I only had two minutes fuel to burn who knew that? I was breathing hard, so hard in fact that the lady in front of me some 50 yards or so turned to look. It took me for ever to catch up to her but in doing so we both over took some other runners, I ran with her for a while still breathing really really hard, everybody was looking at me I think they thought I was about to pass out, I managed to pull away from this lady in the end and then 400 yard marker came up. Just one more guy I thought I’ll take him on the last straight, I managed to catch him with 200 yards to go but I had not counted on him speeding up! He left me for dead. I looked for the time, a broken counter was on some scaffolding, strange I thought, but on top of a parked car was a timer, the finish, or so I thought, I ran past at 1 hour 55 minutes and 28 seconds, I had smashed the 2 hour barrier I was elated.

Marathon T was cheering so I stopped to tell him the good news and the time, “You’ve not finished you silly bugger” he yelled, dam that broken clock was the finish line, just above it a large sign said….. finish.

I had lost the plot with 50 yards to go. I crossed the line and some bloke on a loud speaker shouted my name and team Mofo.

Awesome………

The feet.....not so awesome